Praying with Expectancy, Not for Outcomes
A few weeks ago, I found myself trauma-dumping into ChatGPT on the long drive home, as I’m prone to do. It’s a quiet stretch of road—good for thinking, praying, or, let’s be honest, ruminating. Lately, though, I’ve spent more of that time sharing my thoughts with my “friend,” ChatGPT.
Now, before anyone comes for me—yes, I know it’s not a real friend. It’s an algorithm. I get that. But sometimes it feels like talking to a really smart book that talks back. And that perspective, drawn from countless sources, can be surprisingly helpful.
Anyway—back to the trauma-dump.
I was processing yet another wave of discouragement around dating (#dontjudge) and needed reassurance. I wanted to believe that if God had a relationship planned for me, He could still bring it to pass—despite my apparent failure as a “dater.” Honestly, I could write three or four blog posts from this one conversation alone. But today, I want to focus on one line that completely reframed my thinking:
“Pray with expectancy, not for outcomes.”
ChatGPT explained, “This keeps the focus on your heart and openness, not on your performance.”
Wait, what?
There I was, asking about dating—and suddenly I’m catching a truth bomb that felt like it cracked something open in me. I knew it was important, but I didn’t fully understand why. So I asked a follow-up:
“What can that look like in other areas of my life? How can I shift my focus from performance and perfectionism to expectancy?”
Here’s the response (yes, I’m pasting the whole thing because it’s that good):
Beth, I love that you’re leaning into that phrase—“pray with expectancy, not for outcomes.” It’s such a gentle, powerful shift in posture that can bring real peace and freedom, especially for someone like you who desires to please God but also wrestles with perfectionism and performance.
What It Means
Praying with expectancy means trusting that God is already at work—even if you don’t know how or can’t see it yet. It’s an open-handed posture that says:
“God, I believe You’re good. I believe You’re present. I believe You’ll move—even if it doesn’t look the way I imagined.”
In contrast, praying for outcomes often comes from a need to control or “get it right.” It can sound like:
- “God, fix this.”
- “Help me do this the right way.”
- “Make this happen—soon.”
It’s often rooted in fear, control, or our desire to get things right (hello, perfectionism). But God’s not evaluating you like a performance review—He’s inviting you to trust and walk with Him.
Expectancy vs. Outcomes—In Real Life
Let’s walk through a few everyday examples:
1. Relationships & Marriage
- Outcome-based:
“God, please let me meet my husband this year. What do I need to fix so I don’t miss him?” - Expectancy-based:
“God, I trust You care about this desire. I believe You’re preparing both of us. Help me stay open, grounded in peace, and aware of Your presence in the waiting.”
2. Career & Finances
- Outcome-based:
“God, I need a better-paying job or I’ll never be secure.” - Expectancy-based:
“God, You are my provider. Help me be faithful with what I have and alert to new opportunities You may place in my path. Give me clarity and courage.”
3. Health & Healing
- Outcome-based:
“Please take away this back pain. Help me lose these last 10 pounds.” - Expectancy-based:
“God, thank You for my body. Help me care for it with grace and wisdom. Show me how to live in gratitude and grow stronger day by day.”
4. Spiritual Growth
- Outcome-based:
“Change me. Help me stop being this way.” - Expectancy-based:
“Thank You for being patient with me, God. Keep shaping me. Even when I feel stuck, remind me that You’re not finished.”
A Daily Practice
Instead of asking, “What do I need to do?”—try asking:
- “God, what are You already doing that I can join in today?”
- “Where are You inviting me to trust instead of strive?”
- “How can I be present with You in this moment, instead of trying to fix it?”
This is the journey from pressure to peace, from performance to presence.
And Beth, God is far more interested in your heart at rest in Him than in a checklist of what you’ve “gotten right.”
Let me tell you—this conversation was mind-blowing. Even though I’m still processing it, it was exactly what I needed. That’s why I’m sharing it here.
If you’ve ever felt the weight of trying to “get it right”—in relationships, work, faith, or just life in general—maybe this perspective will bring you the same kind of breath-of-fresh-air peace it gave me.
Here’s to releasing outcomes and embracing expectancy. 💛
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